Day Thirty Eight

Rule 38

“It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one-way to be born into a new life: to die before death.”

It's getting impossible to ignore the evil in the world. Yesterday, the monsters struck again. Who are these monsters? Where did they come from? Who's backing them? Too many questions, not enough plausible answers, and no solution in sight. It feels at times like the walls are closing in, and instead of becoming more accepting and peaceful, intolerance, xenophobia and hatred are on the rise. "It's always darkest before the dawn"... but it's getting harder to believe in a promised dawn, and this feeling of being helpless to stop the madness is infuriating.

As the world becomes crazier, the questions in Rule 38 are questions I've asked myself countless times. Let me sum up what growing up looks like in my brain:

Late teens / early 20's - You saw the Matrix. You read Beckett, Genet, Sartre, and now you're having one big massive existential crisis. Who am I? Am I even? We all die alooooooooneeeeeee! You have so much energy you're not sure what the heck to do with yourself most of the time.

Early to mid 20's - I'm going to conquer the world! As soon as I figure out who I am.

Post-25 - A steady paycheque would be nice, since I've kind of figured out who I am. Conquering the world was a crazy idea anyway.

Post-30 - Hello, me! I like me! Yay, finally. I think I've got this figured out. But man, I'm tired. Why am I so tired?

As 35 approaches - Wait, what? Omg omg omg 40 is coming soon, and I have nothing to show for it! I want to start a brand new career! Where did this belly come from? Shoooo! I'm totally not going through a pre-midlife crisis, this is pre-midlife enlightenment!

Tina Fey, my hero. I thought of this image because 

as I am typing this, I have a little person on my lap 

who's sucking her thumb and pinching my elbow. 

Who says we can't have it all? Pfft!

Look, it's normal not to be sure what you want to do when you grow up, but you want to hear something funny? As I grow older, I find myself being drawn back to the things I really loved growing up. Maybe our young souls know our calling perfectly, and denying it is like suffocating your soul. Just a thought. If you find yourself wanting to go back to something you always loved, why not give it a try? And if your kids have a passion, encourage them (as long as it's not pyromania or animal torture... you know). 

The fact is that pursuing our dreams is something that only the privileged can contemplate. If you are already living your dream, you are one of the lucky few, so hang on to it! Most humans on this planet are stuck doing something they hate, getting underpaid for it, possibly being exploited, and some of them may not have even had the time to ask themselves, "Hey, what are my dreams in life?" So, if you have the luxury of even entertaining that notion for a second, do the universe a favor, don't be ungrateful, and follow your dream. Why? I believe that every time a soul finds its calling, happy vibes go back into the world. Oh, don't look at me like I just spewed some hippie bs. Happiness is contagious, and the world needs more happy people to make this a happier place for those who cannot afford to follow their own dreams. You don't know yet where your dreams will take you, and how it may help others... because it's hard to do anything truly constructive when you hate what you do. 

It is never too late to reinvent yourself and your life. Just ask Madonna. B**ch never grows old.

Note: The wreath in the calligraphy is from a tutorial by the amazing Lindsey (The Postman's Knock blog). It's easily the best resource for modern calligraphy and much more!